In My Fathers House

My brother, husband, and I sat in the funeral home listening to the owner explain the different perks of each urn placed before us. We had been through this 3 years prior when our mother passed away. Funny I couldn't recall anything about my mothers arrangements. The final urn presented to us was stainless steel. I couldn't help laughing. It was so inappropriate in this serious  and formal setting. My brother gave me an inquisitive look. I couldn't help it. I blurted out "Marc, it looks just like a martini shaker". We both busted out laughing. My husband looked at the funeral director "Sold!" George had a serious love affair with martini's. The urn couldn't have been more perfect.

Our mother had passed away during the Easter season. Now our father during Christmas.  Ironically mother loved Easter. Our father loved Christmas. They both died during a full moon at the same hour. I have no idea if there's some spiritual revelation tied to these coincidences. I'd like to think God was giving us the gift of the birth of a new season. The resurrection of a new way of life. 

It is still surreal. We aren't even 50 years old. Yet we are parent-less. So strange. We have no living relatives left. Just us. The Lord was so sweet to us. He knew we would need family even before we knew it. We both married into fabulously large families that we adore. The kind of families we both had wished for as children. 

We share a bond. A childhood that no one will ever understand. We have been blessed beyond measure with spouses who push us forward. Who challenge us to be our best despite our past. 

The days leading up to the death of our father were agonizing. We wanted the suffering of this horrific death to end.  It seemed to drag on. Little did we know God was using those last 48 hours for all of us to be at peace.

I wonder if this is how the disciples felt after the death of Jesus? When Jesus took His final breath were they relieved that He was finally at peace?  No more suffering. No more pain. He was in heaven. Were they left with an overwhelming sense of grief? Did they wonder if they could have done things differently? Did they still have unanswered questions? Did they question if they had learned all that they needed to from Jesus?

We held hands and gathered around my fathers bed in the final hours of his life. We prayed for him. We told him to go. We laid hands on him. At 12:11 AM he was gone.

In that moment I realized all was reconciled. Marc and I were free. The decade of taking care of parents who were ill was over.  The past 3 years of tending to a father who was never pacified was over. Relief. Yet complete and utter sadness. The grief will pass. Marc and I will heal. But in this moment, today, there is such sorrow for what could have been.

And yet I'm thankful. Thankful to a father who showed Marc and I how  to love a spouse. Thankful that I have inherited my dad's tenacity. Appreciative for my genetic predisposition of the love of architecture and history. Thankful that because of our parents  idiosyncrasies I have a relationship with my baby brother that no one will quite understand. A history. A bond that joins us together.

I'm watching the sun rise from my desk this morning. It's a new day dawning. George is where he's wanted to be for the past 3 years. He's in heaven reunited with my mother. They are both whole. Healthy. In the presence of the only One who can make the world right.

Rest In Peace, Dad. Rest In Peace.

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”-Rev 21:4

What Have We Become

Take a minute and watch this clip.

http://youtu.be/-xL8rE9DT4g

When I first saw this clip on the news last Friday night I was in disbelief, disgusted, and sad. What have we become? The greatest nation on earth. Her people fighting like dogs over flat screen televisions. Behaving like gluttonous pigs rolling in the muck. 

I'm not sure what has snapped in the American publics mind. Or when for that matter. I do know we've crossed the great divide between thanksgiving and entitlement. We have made "things" our God. We've taken God out of our culture.

Isaiah makes it very clear that our behavior is displeasing to God.  Our behavior also comes with grave consequences. 

 

"Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness
for light and light for darkness"

 

If we do a literal translation of the word "woe" we find the following synonyms: difficult, unhappiness, trials, heartbreak, depression, regret, doom, tribulation. In other words: it ain't good!

 

We have removed our foundation for the sake of change and acceptance. Ironically, can you think of anything more radical than Jesus Christ? What about the change in our being? The transformation that He brings upon our acceptance of a Him?

 

I would be curious to know if the saying "less is more" has any biblical connotations. You see, when Jesus consumes us we want more of Him and less of this world. We welcome Christmas as the celebration of our dear Saviors birth. We fall on our knees in adoration. In thanksgiving. We recognize that this King, born in a manger, has come to sacrifice His life so that we may have new life in Him. We understand that without Him we are literally pigs in the muck.

 

Celebrate His arrival with excitement! Delve into the gospel of Luke. Show forgiveness where none is due. Love thy neighbor. Give freely as He has given to you. Pray for eyes to see and ears to hear that Jesus Christ is King! Rejoice in celebration that He is coming.

 

                     "Rejoice in the Lord always"-Philippians 4:4

 

 

 

He Is Preparing A Place For Us

 

One of my favorite traditions during the Christmas season  is our next door neighbors annual post Thanksgiving pig picking. The whole neighborhood is invited. It's a wonderful time to catch up with the college students who are home for break. A great time seeing older neighbors who aren't out as much during the colder months. Fantastic Food!  In addition to BBQ there are chicken breasts, slaw, hushpuppies, baked beans, and drum roll....desserts. In fact, there are desserts as far as the eye can see. Pecan pie, lemon pie, coconut cake, chocolate pie. For exactly 5.09079 seconds I say to myself "Just eat the protein you ate too much on Thanksgiving Day".  Then logic takes over. I've already stuffed myself on Thanksgiving day why not go ahead and go for the gold?

 

On Black Friday our neighbor begins his preparations. He is meticulous. He takes everything out of his garage. Hoses the garage down. Scrubs the floors. He puts the contents of the garage, being used for the pig picking,  in the driveway or yard. He then cleans each and every chair and table that is being set up in the driveway and on the lawn. He puts up card tables in the garage to hold the "fixin's" and beverages. Next he sets up the firepit to keep everyone warm.

 

The grand finale is when he tows, with his SUV, the pig cooker into the driveway. He carefully unhitches the cooker and sets it up. Next he takes the pig out of the back of the truck. Places it on the grill. For the next 24 hours he stokes the fire and gingerly cooks the pig.  For a good day we can smell the smokey ploom of air in our backyard. It is divine. It beckons you across the hedge to check on the status of the BBQ.

 

When it is all said and done that pig is the best you will ever taste! All white meat and zero grease. Cooked to perfection. Stuart truly could give up his law practice and market his BBQ and homemade sauces. On the Saturday after Thanksgiving we all gather in their driveway at 1PM. Stuart says the blessing and everyone digs in. It is truly a feast fit for a king.

 

I find great comfort in knowing,  just as Stuart has meticulously been preparing that pig, the Lord is lovingly preparing a place for us in heaven. With all of the turmoil that is starting to unfold in the world Jesus has not forgotten us. He is gingerly, meticulously, and lovingly preparing a hiding place for us in heaven. Our eternal home. 

 

He pursues us, woos us, calls to us to walk with Him. He is preparing the best for us. He has prepared a grand feast for us. A joyous life with Him forever. We did nothing to deserve the invitation. 

 

God sacrificed His one and only son for us. I don't think many of us stop long enough to imagine the magnitude of that statement. Can you imagine sending your child to die for a sinful world such as ours?  And yet He still wants to have a relationship with us!

 

As we go into this Christmas season think about what Jesus means to you. Has His birth meant anything to you? Have you thanked Him? Have you invited Him into your heart? Or are you too busy to make time for Him? What have you prepared for him? He wants nothing more than to be in relationship with us. To secure a place for us at the feast. To spend all eternity with Him. He has sent His best for us. What have you prepared for Him?

 

 “Now I have told you before it happens, so that when it happens, you may believe."-John 14:29

 

 

 

 

 

 

He Equips The Called

614 miles and 14 hours later my father is with us in North Carolina. My amazing husband and brother packed him up, helped load him into the ambulance. After a series of unfortunate events we finally moved him in at 1 in the morning. Three hours later my husband was back in the car  taking my brother to the airport. I am so incredibly thankful.

Where I used to see lack I now see abundance. I called my dad's caregiver this morning. "Is he behaving?" I asked. "Not sure what you mean, Miss Elizabeth? You daddy well he's a big teddy bear". For that I am so thankful.

The black sedan pulled into the driveway. Two beautiful young women stepped out laughing loudly. The back door opened, luggage and laundry dropped on the floor. "Hey, mama we're home!" Where I once saw a big mess on the floor I now see my girls home safe and sound for the Thanksgiving break. For that I'm thankful.

We received an email tonight from a friend letting us know a mutual friend found out she is dying. She has 1-5 years to live. She has several children under the age of 12. She is blessed with an amazing husband. He is taking a leave of absence from work to spend her final days with his bride. Where I once would have been angry I now have peace. God has a plan for this amazing family of believers. For that I am thankful.

I watch the chaos unfolding in this nation. I am so grateful that I am living in this world but I am not of this world. I'm so thankful for a Savior who has given me eyes to see that this world is not my forever home. I am so grateful to a Redeemer who has seperated me. For that I am eternally thankful.

Where I once saw the sun and some clouds I now see God's glorious sunsets. For that I am thankful.

There is thanksgiving in everything. No matter how bad the situation may seem. If we choose to we can always find something to be thankful for.

God doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called. And for that I am so incredibly thankful.
 

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who

belong to Christ Jesus."-1 Thessalonians 5:18

Perfectly Posed Life

Unfortunately there is not a mental health warning sticker on social media: "Look at your own risk. If you are prone to jealousy, fits of rage, insecurity, or sadness these images may increase your self loathing and further your depressed state of mind". 

We have all done it. Looked at our Facebook or Instagram newsfeed and felt inadequate, even for just a second,  based on other people's photographs or "#pics". Images of perfect women, with perfect friends, perfect spouses, and perfect children pop up all over. To add insult to injury they are having so much fun! Without us. At this point we do one of two things: (1)we feel bad about who we are (2) we are truly happy to see what fun they are having.

There should be a warning label on Pinterest as well. "If you have the propensity to evaluate the worth of your life and craftiness based on others Pinterest boards please log out now". I created dozens of wonderful idea boards. Hours finding seasonal decorating ideas. Recipe boards. Remodeling boards. I had to walk away. Just too much dang pressure. Too much time wasted "pinning".  And, if we are really being honest with ourselves, are we really going to do all of those crafty projects? Ever? Recipes? Yes. Bazillion crafts?  No.

Social media is one of the enemies biggest lies. It gives him the tools to step right into your home and into your insecurities. It also gives him leverage over the busyness of our lives. I personally love seeing pictures of people's children, grandchildren, and pets. It gives me great pleasure. Makes me feel connected to old friends. Excited to see how God has blessed them.

But what about the person who is going through a divorce? The loss of a spouse? Loss of a child? Illness? The person who is alone on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Is social media a good place for them to connect with the world? 

It depends. If we understand that the majority of what we see on social media is just a three second camera click into someones life. A staged shot. A selfie. A perfectly posed life. Filtered life. Touched up life. Often times not real lfe. Then, yes, social media can be entertaining.

 

I read on Facebook (#shocker) that a friend is challenging everyone to be like Daniel. If you accept the challenge?  You intentionally go to the Lord in prayer of thanksgiving three times a day. One response to the friends request was "If I have the time to check Facebook three times a day I can find the time to pray three times a day".I love this idea!

When we pray, communicate, and thank the Lord for all that we are, all that we have? Well, we are able to look at the world with a completely different perspective. We see things through God's eyes. We are able to differentiate what is real and what is not. We are able to find thanksgiving everywhere and anywhere. We are able to be of this world but not in this world.

Prayer changes lives. I've experienced it first hand. When I first came to Christ my entire thought process had to be changed. I remember reading that Beth Moore had placed a bible on her forhead and prayed  for God to let her absorb every bit of it. So what did I do? Desperate times called for desperate measures. I would fall asleep with the bible on my face! Sounds hilarious now even to me. At the time, it was everything. I had nothing left. I was clinging to the hope of Jesus Christ.

Jesus answered my prayer. Layer by layer He stripped it all away. Verse by verse He started to reshape my mind. It wasn't over night. But I knew I was forever changed. Houses that I used to drive by with activity no longer made me feel left out, sorry for myself or sad. I eventually was able to drive by saying "Thank you, Lord! Thank you for removing me. For saving me!" Now when I drive by almost two decades later? I can wave, smile, and be so appreciative of the past that has led me to my eternal future. I think, at that point in my life, if there had been Facebook it would have sent me over the edge. I'm so thankful for His protection.

I challenge you this week to pray for those who are lost, alone, filled with sadness and grief. I challenge you to ask the Lord to bring those who need you into your life this week. I challenge you to offer thanksgiving for all that you have. Where there is worldly lack I challenge you to ask God to reveal to you how He is protecting you. I challenge you to be thankful in all circumstances.

Happy Thanksgiving week!

 

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect"-Romans 12:2

A Thorn In The Flesh

My life is a comedy of errors. No, really. I can't make this stuff up. I had a crown put on yesterday. The novocain made me feel weird but nothing different than any other time. I went home, made dinner, paid the cleaning lady, and got ready to run errands. My tongue started to swell. I texted my doctor. No response. I figured she must be really busy. Called the dentist office. They were closed. My next door neighbor is a retired dentist. So, I strolled over to his house. No one was home. By this time I was having difficulty breathing. My other neighbor was gone. My dang cell phone would not call out and our home phone had been left off the base. Dead as a doornail. I texted my husband. He called my father in law who came and graciously picked me up. Delivered me to my doctors door step.

My doctor came in and said "why didn't you text me?!" At this point I couldn't talk. Yep, my throat was closing. Got shot with benadryl and  some steroids. Waited in her office for a few hours. Waiting. Waiting to see if she was going to have to admit me to the hospital. Robin arrived. My tongue went back down to normal. The Benadryl worked. Praise God. I looked at Kris, my doctor, and said "You, know, this is getting to be not only comical but embarrassing". "What the heck, Kris!? This sucks!" P.S. I would have washed my kids mouth out with soap if they had said "sucks". Great, now I'm a hypocrite too. She just looked at me and said "Elizabeth, for whatever reason, the Lord has given you these crosses to bare. I don't know why. He's using you. That's why it doesn't suck.  It could always be far worse".

Riding home I had a discussion with God. "Dang it, HEAL ME! I don't want to do this anymore. I feel terrible, I'm huge, I am tired . I've had enough. Please, Lord, Please. Just heal me. I'll never ask why again. I won't complain anymore. Please." And in that moment I realized there are people, some of my friends, dealing with or who have dealt with cancer. They are  fighting to live. I'm just struggling. I'm alive. Inconvenienced, yes. Uncomfortable, yes. Embarrassed that my body is uncontrollable, yes. But I am alive.

So the question remains, for all of us, why? Why is it that God puts all of us through trials?

Paul is a perfect example of someone who lived  through continual trials. Yet he never gave up hope. He never stopped trusting God. In 2 Corinthians 11 we read about what Paul lived through. 

He was imprisoned repeatedly 

He was flogged repeatedly 

He received 39 lashes five times

He was beaten with rods 3 times

He was stoned

He was shipwrecked 3 times

He was in continual pain

He went weeks without sleep

He was often starved 

Reading further we find that in 2 Corinthians 12 because of the abundance of revelation given to him, Paul was given a thorn in the flesh to keep him humble. When Paul asked, three times, for the thorn to be removed God refused saying His grace was sufficient. And there it was in black and white. God was keeping Paul humble. The Lord was more concerned about building up Paul's character. Preventing pride. Even Paul  tells us that he learned God's power is made strong in our weakness. God was also teaching Paul to be totally dependent on Him.

If we have a tendency to have a haughty spirit or independently rely on ourselves it is quite possible the Lord is trying to redirect our character. Why? When we appoint ourselves, our material possessions, our social status, our checkbooks, our name as the one most important in our lives we push God to the side. We can't see Him. We can't feel Him. We can't hear Him. We are unaware of Him. We do not need Him. When everything is stripped away it is then that we cry out to the Lord. We ask Him to take over. We cling to Him. We put Him first in everything in our lives.

I guess the lesson for me is His grace is sufficient. For whatever reason God has allowed me to walk it out. The good, the bad, the painful, the ugly.  Five years ago I would have never publicly testified about Jesus. Yes, I believed, but I would not preach about Him. Ten years ago I would say I was hauty.  A decade ago I needed no one. I relied on me, my husband and our checking account. Today? My life revolves around the Lord. My relationships are Godly ones. I know exactly who and why every person in my life was put there. Some days I still struggle with my thorn. I still ask Him for healing. But I know now it will be in His time frame not mine. And with the faith of a child I must trust that He has me in the palm of His hand.

What is the thorn in your side? What is God trying to show you? Are you listening? 

"I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me"-Psalm 16:8

 

 

Sin

Monday afternoon I started to come down with a migraine. I took two Excedrin Migraine tablets every four hours all day long. It eased up about 8PM. I awoke Tuesday morning with yet another migraine. Probably the same one that decided to come back. I battled it all day long. Finally at 6PM, when I felt like I had an ice pick going thru my left eye socket, I took a toradol and went to bed. That usually will stop it.  By Wednesday morning I was dizzy, nauseous, and my head felt as if it were going to explode. My husband called the neurologist and got me an appointment to have a nerve block at 4PM.

Migraines are funny things. They creep in. Just when you have gone a few weeks without one. Just when you start to feel normal. Just when you actually forget that you have migraines. That is when they creep back into your life.  Most migrainers are on a first name basis with their migraines. I have several different migraines. I can relate different symptoms to each migraine. I can also tell you how bad they are going to be based on the aura. If my arms and legs are very stiff, if my vision has fireworks or my face starts to feel numb I know I will loose speech. It's just a matter of time. Nothing will stop it but IV drugs. If it starts at the base of my neck I can take fiorecet, a coca cola, an icepack and go to bed and sleep it off. If I have nausea, dizziness, and the ice pick stabbing I know I will have to get a marcaine nerve block to stop it.


Yesterday as I was sitting in the neurologist office I had an epiphany of sorts. Migraines are a lot like sin. There is probably one major sin you have battled your whole life. Every single time you think you have a handle on it guess what? It creeps back into your life. You can treat the symptoms but the behavior will always come back.

Like migraines sin is debilitating. It slowly creeps in and takes over your whole being. It controls your life. It can cause you to be frozen with fear. Your life can be in a state of paralysis due to the guilt associated with the sin. You become in total bondage  to that one sin. Held hostage in your own body.

The only thing that can change your circumstances is to do something about it. After two years  we still do not know the root of my problem. It is definitely hereditary, as both my daughters suffer, but most likely attributable to the Lupus. Therefore I can not get rid of it. But we have figured out what injections, nerve blocks and medicines work for me. I know I can no longer eat solid chocolate. Or drink beer or wine. I know I must wear an ID bracelet at all times in case I loose speech and I'm alone.

If we know we have a propensity to a certain sin? Well, you take the measure to avoid it. When we acknowledge our sin, confess it, and hand it over to the Lord we are able to live a life free of bondage. The sin nature will always be there. However if we walk in the Spirit we are less likely to have that desire for that particular sin.

As each needle was placed in various parts of my skull yesterday it felt like a pressure cooker being released. My husband always watches in amazement "How can you stand it?!"  It literally feels as if my head is being decompressed with each injection. The pain subsides, my vision comes back, the nausea lessons, the spinning stops. I'm on solid ground again.

The goal as Christians is to live a life pleasing to Him. In order to do this we must break free from the bondage in our life that distances us from Him. Confess our sins. Ask Him to heal us, walk with us, guide us. In the flesh we must do whatever it takes to avoid the physicality of whatever sin we are prone to. If that means new friends? Make them. If that means avoiding certain places? Don't go there. We can not experience total freedom in Him until we break free from the chains that are holding us.

What things in your life are holding you hostage? Gluttony? Arrogance? Substance Addiction? Pornography? Gossip? Greed? Envy? Ask Him to break you free today!

"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh"-Galatians 5:16