I haven't written in almost a month. Primarily because I do not want my words to reflect my fleshly thoughts. "Can't say something nice don't say anything at all" comes to mind. I want to pen the reflections of what the Lord puts on my heart. Not what my knee jerk response to many things are. Retrospective wisdom as it were.
In the past twelve months I've said goodbye to a parent, undergone countless biopsies and procedures, watched one of our children battle addiction, watched another child endure medical surgeries and monthly IV infusions. It was a year I truly never wish to relive.
And, yet, there was profound joy. I experienced a deeper love for my husband than I ever fathomed possible. We watched our first born graduate from college magna cum laude. I had a front row seat witnessing that same daughter answer God's calling on her life. I witnessed the Lord turn my husband into a mighty prayer warrior. Finally, slowly, we are seeing God move mightily in our youngest daughters life. Or should I say He's moving mightily and she's slowly following?
All of these things happened in response to prayer. Truly a gift of God's grace. We deserved nothing. And, yet, He blessed us abundantly. Prayers weren't always answered the way we thought they should or would be. But He answered them.
Every pain, every heartbreak, every sleepless night God faithfully cradled us in His arms. The scripture of my year would definitely have to be Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know what I have planned for you,' says the LORD. 'I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope." Amen to that!
Every single "bad" thing that has happened to you or me this year He uses for good. That's not a popular worldly analogy. The world wants us, actually the enemy wants us, to believe we either get what we deserve. Or that someone owes us for injustices. I believe both to be false.
The God of the universe sees the big picture where we may not. Think about a pearl. It's protected by a hard crusty shell deep down in the ugly muck. You literally have to pry it open. Once opened, exposed of all its smelly contents, there is a beautiful jewel reflecting back. You may not always find a pearl. You have to dig. And pry open. And clean out the junk. It's a process.
God loves us so much that he closes doors and creates barriers that cause us to: (a) reconsider our wayward path (b) illuminate what is dark in our lives that needs light...His light. There are absolutely no experiences on this earth that can not be used for His glory. I believe that. I've experienced that time after time after time.
The God of the universe sees the big picture where we may not. Think about a pearl. It's protected by a hard crusty shell deep down in the ugly muck. You literally have to pry it open. Once opened, exposed of all its smelly contents, there is a beautiful jewel reflecting back. You may not always find a pearl. You have to dig. And pry open. And clean out the junk. It's a process.
God loves us so much that he closes doors and creates barriers that cause us to: (a) reconsider our wayward path (b) illuminate what is dark in our lives that needs light...His light. There are absolutely no experiences on this earth that can not be used for His glory. I believe that. I've experienced that time after time after time.
Life is complicated. And ugly. And difficult. We can choose to go it alone or go with God. If it were all easy we wouldn't need Him. Without Him? When the hardships come we are just mired down. Literally hard crusty shells. Many times with barnacles growing on top of that crustacea. If we refuse to see the good in the bad? Well, we are simply left in the muck of life with absolutely no hope to find the pearl. I really like jewelry so I choose to see The jewel who came to save me.
"Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you."-Psalm 51:12
