Our home is old. Plaster ceilings and
walls, original hardwoods, an abundance of built in bookcases, and great
moldings kind of old. I love my house! Lately, however, everything has
seemed just a little bit too old. We haven't done any updating in 15
years. This summer we have begun re-doing all of our bathrooms,
replacing appliances, and tackling furniture. Our Kitchen demolition
will be next spring. It is a process.
Let
me paint a picture. My husbands wallet is on springs as tight as a
mousetrap. You open it and it snaps back immediately. This is a good
thing. This is a very bad thing. It just depends, like all things, on
your perspective. With that said, this past spring he gave me the green
light to start tackling furniture. I got so overly excited that I sent
literally everything we had to the upholsterers. Then I realized we had no furniture to sit on. Go me!
One
room that has alluded me for 15 years is our formal living room. We
really don't use it. I have now overtaken it as a quiet time room,
office, computer etc.. To me, it was the most depressing room in our
home. It is dark, even though, we have two large windows looking out
onto the front porch. The moldings are gorgeous and the built-in's are
lovely. It has good bones but it's tired. I thought recessed lights
would help. We have them in the playroom,man-cave, laundry room, den and
sunroom. 15 years ago we went over budget when re-doing this home...go
figure. The recessed lights in the living room got "canned".
Something
told me to just start switching furniture and rugs from other rooms. So
we did. Or rather Robin did. The man is a machine. He moved extremely
large oriental rugs from three different rooms. He moved heavy period
pieces and ridiculously over sized pieces of furniture up and down
steps.
The
living room was transformed into exactly what I had hoped it to be.
It's warm, inviting, and a perfect place for me to read, pray and write.
The Lord blessed me even further. From my writing chair you have an
incredible view of our porch, front yard, and the street. I've been
dreading day light savings time. This room will allow me to read, pray,
and write while being able to watch all of God's splendor outside. {And}
guess what? The room is BRIGHT with light! Who'd have thunked it?!
Moving furniture is similar to what Jesus wants to do with our hearts, thought process, our whole lives.
We
all have good bone structure because, well, He made us! Occasionally we
become stale. Or maybe everything in our lives is going well except for
that one nagging thing we haven't dealt with. We can live our lives
the way they are. Eventually, though, either we have to do the work or
He will re-arrange for us! When we walk with Him that means all of us. The good, the bad, the ugly not just what we deem appropriate to give Him.The Lord pretty much took my whole being down to the studs. There was one area in my life that I refused to renovate: my relationship with my Mother. I loved my Mother. We just could not be in the same room together for longer than 24 hours. That is an not an exaggeration. I can't tell you the countless times my Dad played referee between the two of us. I had always hoped it would get better when Robin and I had children. I thought, no I assumed, that Mother would put all of her issues with me in a basket and focus on my children. Didn't happen. I actually went 2 years without speaking to my Mother. It was selfish, prideful, and not fair to my children. I should have been the bigger person. I had no intention of re-arranging my furniture. I expected her to knock down her entire house and rebuild it for me. We were at an impasse. Two people who loved each other deeply. Two Christian women unwilling to turn the other cheek (Matthew 5:39).
Guess what happened? My Mother became very ill. I spent months driving the 6 hours back and forth to Virginia. Our family incurred huge expenses because I refused to stay in the house that I grew up in. I stayed in hotels. Finally one exhausting weekend I arrived back in Kinston on a Sunday night. My husband met me in the drive-way and said, "You need to be with her. You need to be a daughter to a dying Mother." I felt like someone had slapped me across the face! How dare he! He was suppose to be on my side. I was, after all, making sacrifices in my life for her!
The next weekend we went up as a family. The Doctors called my Father, Brother, Robin and me into a conference room. There was nothing left to do. She would not live longer than 3 months. {And} with that God did something spectacular. I opened my mouth and said "I will move in with you Daddy. Marc works 12 hour days. I'll take care of her. If Marc will relieve me on the weekends so I can go home to see my children I'll stay."
We brought her home from the hospital on January 23, 2011, and she died April 20, 2011.
The three months that I spent with my mother were short of super-natural. I was able to watch all of her Meredith College friends parade in and out of my childhood home to say goodbye. I was able to experience former neighbors, friends from 50 years ago, people she had taught with in the 1960's, church members, ministers, book club members, supper club members, postmen, the UPS guy all come to say goodbye to this woman who was so loved by everyone but me.
God was re-arranging my furniture and giving me a different view. One of the last weekends that my Mother was alive I climbed in her hospital bed that we had set up in the den. I told her that I was leaving to go see her grandchildren for a few days. As plain as day she looked at me and said "You can't leave, Lillibet, all of the happiness will be drained from the room". It took my breath away. I had given her happiness during an excruciating death. No longer was there pain between us. The impasse was removed. God had renovated my house. It was beautiful.
Time is short. What are you holding on to? What view in your home needs more light? He can still perform miracles. He will re-arrange your furniture the way He seems fit. Lift up your voice to the heavens and tell Him that you trust Him. Let Him heal old wounds. Let Him be your light in this dark world.
“He restores my soul.”~Psalm 23:3
