She let us know that she was sick with tonsillitis. The pillow and bedding were "eh" but the food was good. She had met one of the counselors who is a family friends nephew. She excitedly wrote about how handsome he is and someone she could relate too. She told us that her roommate was there for heroine charges as were many others. The people are very nice "but not like me at all ."
It was one of the last lines of the note that caught my attention. "I really appreciate y'all being so over bearing. Yes, most of the time I have hated it, but I know now y'all do things out of love and protection for me. Most people here have been given up on by their families. This makes me realize how blessed I am that y'all love and care about me so much". A small light.
After receiving countless in- boxes and many phone calls I realized that Robin and I are not alone. Many of you are walking in our shoes. In silence. You know there is a problem. But nipping it in the bud seems like such an extreme measure. You are concerned for your child, as are we, and don't know how to fix it.
I do not know what the answer is. Do I think the reins need to be pulled in? ABSOLUTELY. Do we think she needs to understand the consequences for all of her actions? Without a doubt. If we released her into the world today to be on her own, which was one of the choices we gave her, she would either be dead or destitute.
We are products of the 1980's when drinking was legal at the age of 18. We graduated from high school, registered to vote, went to our first bar legally, and started college all in the same season. Our parents released us into the world. There was a finality to it. I always knew I was responsible for me after the age of 18. Did I push the boundaries? Yes! But I knew I was on my own. There was a limit to how far I'd push because I knew my parents wouldn't bail me out. And, as a dear friend pointed out today, there truly was a reverence for God. For morality. You would never risk embarrassing your family. There was a fear of the Lord.
Flash forward 30 years later to the age of "me". "If I want too I will. And you can't do anything about it." This applies to teens and adults alike. It's become the norm. Instant gratification. A feel good age where we have no idea what consequences are. Since our daughter has been away we have had time to really go through social media etc. What we've found is that there is an entire culture that parents have no clue about. None. We saw a glimpse of it the summer our oldest daughter made her debut. Admittedly it was fun watching all of these young people have a great time. But when you began to see that there were no brakes you start to scratch your head "seriously?"
All of the parents that have contacted us are wonderful Christians who did not understand how this can happen to my child let alone theirs. I think there are many reasons why. This is what I've come up with from a fleshly standpoint. First and foremost social media. Every image is "look at me I'm having FUN" i.e. bottle of Jack and all blonde beauties. Second is the fear of missing out due to the images they see on social media. Third it's illegal therefore they have to binge drink while they can get their hands on it.
Finally, and most importantly, all kids are targets of the enemy. Particularly those kids raised in Christian households. If you believe, as scripture tells us, that we are living amongst the last generation then you understand that there is an enormous spiritual war happening all around us. There is a last ditch effort by satan and his minions to claim our children as his own. "Elizabeth, you are off your rocker?" Well, am I?
The Lord prompted me to do a word search. I did some research on the word "alcohol" and what I found was amazing. The word alcohol itself is derived from the Arabic word Al-Khul. Al-khul's literal definition is "a body eating spirit". Al-gwahl, the original English derivative, means "ghoul". Thus you have a ghostly body eating spirit. That should send chills down your spine.
Robin and I are still wrestling with "did we do the right thing?" I think we have. We both have slept through the night every night that our daughter has been gone. We know she is safe. The walk is hers. At this point, all we can do is continue to pray for her. Love her. One day at a time.
"We cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard"-Acts 4:20
