The rings are precious to me. My husband did a beautiful thing early on in our marriage. Every several years, milestone anniversaries, he would give me a diamond anniversary band. Very elegant and simple. Even the years when we could not afford it. He scrimped and did without to do for me. He knew that once we hit our 25th wedding anniversary my left hand would hold a lot of beautiful memories. And more importantly our marriage story.
My lupus hands are far from beautiful. In fact out of all of the damage my body has succumbed too my hands are what I'm most self conscious about. But those rings made me feel beautiful. They made me feel as if the focus was off the physical appearance of my scarred hands. Your eyes were drawn to the symbol and token of my husband's love and affection.
A childhood friend in-boxed me. Precious. Reminding me that they were just things. That what mattered most was the man beside me. She was correct. And I needed to hear that. And then it dawned on me. Was the Lord showing me that, maybe, just maybe I was a little bit too fond of materialistic possessions? I thought about it for about a hot 10 seconds. Then I texted my dear friend who works in a jewelery store. I told her I needed to see her first of the week to replace the bands. I totally ignored what my intuition i.e. Holy Spirit and childhood friend were telling me: just things. reflect on what you have non-monetary. My fleshly desire to pursuit and conquer was in over drive even though I KNEW I needed to rest in Him.
After I sent the text to my friend my mind went back to my original question "Lord, am I too materialistic? Or are my reasons for being so upset righteous to your standard?" Those are difficult questions. Did I really want to know the answer? Because what I've found in the past is that if I leave something up to the Lord's discretion? If I know in my spirit what He wants me to forgo or do and I don't? Well usually that problem will continue repeating itself until I correct the behavior. Amen?
Engagement rings and wedding bands represent a commitment. Saying "I do" in a holy covenant before the Lord. I liken it to the day I was saved. The day I said "Yes, Lord! You have my whole heart". In my marriage each small band my husband betrothed to me for various anniversaries? Well, they were like the tiny Holy Spirit moments you have throughout different seasons of life. Where you are able to sweetly reminisce where you were in your walk with the Lord. Where we were in our marriage. How far we've come spiritually and matrimonially. The bands worn all together were representative of our story. Equivalent to when we finally see the big picture. What Christ's purpose is for our lives.
Saturday night while getting dressed for dinner my husband walked into our bedroom with a sheepish grin. "How much do you love me?" Evidently I had taken my gloves off and the rings were tossed across the room. He had picked up a towel and there they were! I don't know if that was the Lord or not. But I am thankful. Thankful that my childhood friend in-boxed me. Thankful that I had spent several hours of my day re-evaluating my walk in Christ. Thankful for a husband who likes to clean up. If it happens again anytime soon I know that means the Lord wants me to let go of more possessions. For now, I am just appreciative.
"When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul"-Psalm 94:19
