How do you deal with disappointment, betrayal, anger or loss? Do you respond from your flesh? Do you lash out? Or do you practice the silent treatment? Do you let everyone you meet know how your day was with an exasperated description of the stupidity of everyone around you? I think I've pretty much checked off all of the above, at one time or another, with a great big fat "Yes".
Are you an optimist? A pessimist? Or maybe a realist? I used to be a pessimist. Now, I think, I'm an optimist with a refreshing dose of realism thrown in for good measure.
Life really is not hard. It can be uncomfortable, messy, disappointing, joyful, painful, wonderful, scary, and sometimes challenging. Those things fairly describe life. Hard? No, we make it hard.
We have a tendency to think we are the only one in the world who is facing difficulties. That some how our problems are so exclusive that our challenges are more powerful. More important. "Well, you just have NO IDEA what I'm dealing with!" It's such a narcissistic viewpoint. Oh, and by the way, my hand is in the air frantically waving. Yep, you guessed it, guilty.
When I was a teenager my Mother would give me the silent treatment as a form of punishment. The woman could go days just glaring at me. At first I was enraged. I wanted her to engage. Yell back. Then it just plain hurt. It wasn't until I had children that I realized what Mother was doing. She was practicing restraint. That restraint, though, often turned to resentment. It accomplished nothing but move the problem off of me and turn it into her drama.
Someone I love deeply recently lied to me. Cut me to the core. I felt betrayed, de-valued, and a fool. The only thing I knew to do was be still. I knew that I'd lash out in hurt if I didn't just walk away. In my quiet time this morning, after reading Matthew 24, the Holy Spirit whispered "Time is short". "I know that, Lord! You don't understand how this feels". Yes, I'll admit it, I was arguing with the The Lord of the Universe, the One who created the world , the One who created man from dirt. Yeah, that'd be me. "Time is short. Forgive" He whispered.
{And} then it hit me. Yes, I was lied too, but it's not my issue. It is their issue. I was letting their problem interfere with my walk. I was making it an emotional issue. Not a God issue. I had failed to bring God into it. I brought me into it. In hindsight I probably should have rocked that persons world. I probably should have responded with "May I have your hand? I think I need to pray for us right now". That definitely would have made for a better story!
Life is not hard. I had just made it hard. Yes, I'm devastated that this person lied to me. I'm also in disbelief. I'm pretty sure Jesus was neither of these things when He forgave me 19 years ago. If I had to guess, He was grieved (like me), but He loved me. He forgave me. He showered me in Grace & Mercy. Think about that last statement. "He loved me and He forgave me". Let that sink in. He did not bring up my past, He simply forgave it. He didn't yell at me or give me the silent treatment. He simply loved me.
No, life is not hard. Trying to respond like Jesus? Now, that is hard. Trying to live in a fallen world in our fleshly bodies responding to life as God would have us too? Hard.
I wake up every morning at 6 AM and say "Ok, Lord, you have all of me. Use me how you deem appropriate. I humble myself before you. I am in awe of You. I am captivated by the words you give me. Please guide me. Whisper what You would have me share".
"Time is short". Every morning the Holy Spirit whispers it to me. It's almost a physical ringing in my ears. I am a mother of a 19 year old and a 22 year old. I have been married 25 years. How in the world did time race by so quickly?!
Time is short. We need to be picking our battles wisely. Evaluate whose company we keep. Consider what things are holding our time captive. Where are we invested? Are we forgiving? Or are we harboring resentment? Are we freely giving away love? Or are we holding it tightly for an exclusive group of people?
Time is short. Ask The Lord to show you how to invest it wisely.
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."-Proverbs 18:21
