My man is not a talker. Surprise, that'd be me. He's a deep thinker and a type A doer. But when we go on road trips (or boat trips) we solve the worlds problems. There's something about good music, the road (or water) in front of us, and no schedule that gets him talking. I love that about him.
One thing I realized this weekend? My husband needs me. He misses me. Not the sick Elizabeth that he so diligently cares for. But just Elizabeth. The one who will fire a shotgun even though it scares the living bejesus out of me. The Elizabeth that will shoot skeet with him. The Elizabeth who will jump onto the boat and go to the Cape (I hate the inlet) on a day that it is not slick calm. The Elizabeth that will go to the farm to watch the fields in 100 degree weather. The Elizabeth that will walk around Bass Pro shops with him even though it bores me to tears. He's so busy doing for our family that much of the time his needs get put on the back burner. Because he's a doer, and not a talker, I often forget that he needs to feel loved by me. Taken care of by me. Heard by me. So when he asked what I'd like to do Saturday morning I said "whatever you want to do". My valentines gift to my husband was to let the old me come out and play. No talk of doctors, medicines, aches, pains, or treatment plans.
Saturday we drove up past the Whalehead club to Corolla. He excitedly showed me the duck blinds where he hunts in January every year. Honestly, it was fascinating. I have never taken the time to understand his passion. I was just happy he was happy. When our kids were little I just wanted to know how soon he would be back. He pointed out ducks in the sound. Go figure, he can't see road signs but he can spot a mallard 5 miles away. He showed me the hotel where he and his buddies have stayed for the past decade. We drove in the historic village of Corolla. He told me stories of what the beach (our beach...Atlantic Beach) looked like in the early 70's. Evidently similar to what Corolla looked like turn of the century.
We drove down to Oregon Inlet. He pointed out all the boats, who the owners were, who he had fished with while working as a first mate in college. I knew all of this because I dated him then. But it was a joy watching him so excited to revisit the memories.
We went to every world famous boat makers boat yard he could find. He explained, in great detail, what Bayliss boat he will have built (a cool $3 million) when he wins the lottery. The paint color, where the electronics will be placed, what kind of engines and why. What I loved most was that he would give away most of the money to charities first. Our local churches, The Lupus Foundation, MS foundation. He had really thought about this!
I was reminded why I love this man so much. The fact that he will pull off a major highway in the blink of an eye (suit & tie, shorts, rain or shine) while simultaneously whipping out binoculars if he spots a big deer, fox, bear, or waterfowl. It's insanely annoying and sometimes scary. Yet I love him for it. That he will proudly find me the perfect spot to see the sunset. No matter what time of year. No matter where we are because he knows it brings me sheer joy. The fact that at almost 50 years old he's an Eagle Scout through and through. His Tahoe is always prepared and packed for an emergency. We're talking Yeti coolers ( the big beige one AND the bag cooler) flash lights,flares, binoculars, duck calls, tool kit, blanket, bottled water, sweet tea, diet Mountain Dew, hand held vhf radio, and Lord knows what else. He is always prepared.
Saturday night there was a really bad Nor'easter . The water was breaking across the causeway and freezing. The highway patrol had the bridge blocked off due to wind and ice. I kept looking out our window at the unsettling crashing waves. The familiar whistling wind that all eastern North Carolinians know. Shutters banging. Yet I slept soundly.
When I woke up Sunday morning it occurred to me that this man next to me always makes me feel not only loved but profoundly safe. I know I'm taken care of. I said my morning prayers thanking God for all that is good in our lives. Praying for all of the not so good. And very softly, as my husband quietly snored, I heard Him. "This love you have for Robin? This is only a fraction of the love I have for you. You are safe. You are loved. Remember to love those around you as I have loved you". And the room was still.
Maybe I dreamt it. I don't know. I do know that my heart felt as if it would burst. God had used our weekend as a metaphor for His love of His children. We are all so busy. In all the running around in life we sometimes loose touch. Take for granted. Maybe during storms our hearts become, for a season, icy. We get knocked around a bit. We forget that storms always bring clarity. An appreciation and love for the beautifully calm after the fact. We forget to be intentional in our love.
God wants us to listen for Him. He wants us to let Him love us. Protect us. Make us feel safe. He is in love with us. A love that is so big we can't fathom it. But we can get a glimpse of it here on earth. Simply by remembering to love our spouses, family, friends, neighbors, strangers in the grocery line just as He intentionally, joyfully, and unselfishly loves us.
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another"-John 13:34-35
