Two years ago today our oldest daughter was diagnosed with Lupus. Two years to the day she's in surgery. She's having a port put in. Her 23 year old veins are taking a beating from her monthly infusions. The medicine, praise God, is working. So far the disease has not reached her kidneys. Mild lung damage. So far her life is normal. Well, not normal for a 23 year old. Thankfully above Lupus normal.
So I will sit and wait. I'm no different than any other family member waiting on a loved one. "But I'm the Mama" I say to myself. I wish I could take this journey for her. Yet in an odd weird way I get the privilege of walking it with her.
Our town is small. I'm aware that people wonder why we are always together. We understand each other. The general public doesn't want to hear ( who blames them?!) about our aches, pains, kidney, lung, joint, migraine, dental, and skin problems.
With my girl? Well, we get each other. My youngest calls it enabling. I have to smile. She's probably some what correct. It's like anything. Unless you've walked it you don't understand it.
This summer has not been anything like I had planned. Jesus makes me chuckle. I'm a perpetual planner. That's code for control freak. Yet this summer He has reminded me that I can make my plans but He will number the days (Proverbs 16:9). He's teaching me patience. Perseverance. He is asking me to wait on Him for every aspect of my life.
Right now? I have a friend with cancer. A friend who just had a back fusion. A friend who buried her Daddy and is now nursing her Mama with two broken hips. A dear friend whose husband had a massive heart attack and two months later her Mama has had a stroke. A family friend who recently lost her battle with cancer. A friend of my husbands whose wife has cancer. Another friend of my husbands who was struck by a vehicle while running. Another friend whose 21 year old daughters best friend died of cancer.
Our nation is more divided than I can ever remember. Our service men and women are being gunned down on American soil. We have corrupt politicians. Kids killing kids. Spouses killing spouses. Americans turning on one another.
The world seems to have gone absolutely crazy. Nothing makes sense. And yet it all makes perfect sense to Him. I wonder if He looks at all the pain and sadness like I do? Does He wish that we better understood that He died for us? I wonder if he sheds a tear and whispers to himself "But I'm the Daddy"?
He wants us to walk with Him. He wants us to depend on Him. We are the apple of His eye. Patiently He is waiting for us to rely on Him and not our own understanding. He feels our hurts and He hears our prayers. And if we'll let Him he will wipe our tears.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding"-Proverbs 3:5
