My youngest daughter had been packed for weeks. Let's be honest, this redhead has been ready to leave for college since the 8th grade.
On move in day, which we all thought was the following day because she said it was, Carrington was out shopping with her boyfriend.
Meanwhile I was in Greenville taking my husband lunch. We both had just remarked how bad the traffic was. Never occurred to us why. We discussed Saturdays parking plans for move in day. He even had a client who would let us use their driveway. We had a plan. Good to go.
My phone rings and Carrington proceeds to tell me that her roommate had just texted her "When are you going to be here?" "Wait, what? I thought it was tomorrow". My child had missed move in day for her freshman year of college. Who does that?
In all fairness, she had been packed for two weeks. {And} this was her fifth time moving into a dorm.
Truth be told; if it had been my oldest, the perpetual planner, she would have gone into cardiac arrest. Not little Red. She came home, threw all of her packed bags into her car, and left that night. We only live 45 minutes from the University so we joined her the next morning.
I guess The Lord knew that I needed a combination of exasperation and humor. Otherwise I probably would have lost it. Completely fallen apart saying goodbye. She's just like I was at 19. I know she's gone for good.
Boarding school was hard but we saw her, sometimes three times a week, for athletic events. We still played a significant role in her life. {And} even though she's only 45 minutes away I know this is the final chapter of her being under our roof.
Life is full of seasons and God ordains them all. I wouldn't say it's sinful to live in the past, to want things to stay the same, but is it? If we can't move forward aren't we saying "God, I know what's best for me and you don't "?
We all know someone from high school or college who can't stop reliving their "glory days". The stories are fun and sentimental at first. Then you're thinking to yourself "Move on! This was 30 years ago". I don't want to be that person. That Parent. We all know them.
God clearly tells us in Isaiah 43:18 to move forward. "Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder things of the past." He's God so I'm pretty sure he knows what He's talking about.
My Mother died in April of 2011. She had lived with Parkinson's Disease for about a decade. My brother and I kept telling my Dad that she needed to be treated. My parents refused to acknowledge the tremors, the dementia, and her inability to swallow. Three months before she died she got help. It was too late. She died an agonizing death.
My parents had been married 50 years. They were frick and frack--never without each other. It has been 3 1/2 years and my Dad can not move forward. He is frozen in time. I don't want to be that spouse.
When we say that we trust in The Lord with all our heart, mind, & soul then we need to do just that--trust Him! I want to be that disciple.
My oldest daughter is living with us this semester. She's doing her senior teaching internship at the local elementary school. It's an adjustment for us all. I completely trust that God's hand is all over this. The teacher she's under is one of our former babysitters. She's where she's meant to be for this moment in time. God's got this.
If I had my way my daughters would stay forever. {But} then that would make me a hypocrite. I don't want to be that person.
So here I sit watching my Instagram feed blow up with pictures of my now college freshman daughter making her own way in the world. I take deep breaths, reach over, and hold my precious husband's hand. "She's having a blast" I tell him.
Thank you God for letting me be that Mama, sigh, who lets go.
Thank you God for letting me be that Mama, sigh, who lets go.
"For I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content."-Philippians 4:21
