Our life has been stressful of late. And that is putting it gingerly. Quite honestly I can't imagine walking the path I have walked without two things: (1) Jesus (2) my husband. We all seem to be on the same page. And I honestly thank God for that daily.
The bible is very clear about the husband and wife role. And many people get this wrong....myself included. One revelation that I have had in the past 5 years is that I was created, by God, to be a helpmate to my husband. Genesis 2 points out that the Lord took a rib from Adam to create the woman. The rib is significant. He didn't use his head which would mean intelligence over the woman. And He didn't use the feet which would mean trampling over or domineering over the woman. God used the rib which, to me, indicates the middle. Side by side. Partners. I love that don't you? The Lord truly has thought of everything!
But marriage gets even more exciting. Our husbands are to love us as Christ loves the church. That is huge love! That means fighting for us. Defending us. Protecting us. Making sacrifices for us. Lifting us up in prayer. Providing for us. Guiding us. Honoring us. Being our equal partner. Isn't that awesome? The Lord requires obedience from us as well. As wives we are to pray without ceasing for our husbands (Ephesians 6). Even those husbands that have not accepted Christ. Scripture tells us that our husband will see in us the "beauty, gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God" (1 Peter 3). Thus causing us to be precious to our groom! Amen!
Here it comes: submission. Yes, submission gets a bad rap. Probably because it has been so misinterpreted. The Lord is asking us to submit to our husbands as we do to Him (Ephesians 5). That does not mean letting an abusive husband control us in the name of Jesus. No, it simply means that we are to trust that our husbands are going to honor God in their roles as our defender, protector, provider, Godly partner. This confused me for a long time. I was raised by a very strong willed Southern woman. My parents adored each other. Part of that adoration was probably because my Mother ran the show. In hind sight, it probably took the heat off of my Dad. Therefore my Dad didn't have the pressures that come with being the head of the household. I'm convinced this is why my Dad never got over my Mother's death. He could not move forward. He was paralyzed with grief and fear. He did not have the tools to lead. And he was by no means a weak man. Actually quite the contrary.
So, guess what I did the first decade or so of my marriage? Ran the show! I didn't trust that my husband knew what was best for us. Because, of course, I thought I did. In my mind he was to work, provide, and I was to run the household. Sometimes I would get very angry with him when he would try to help me. If he saw me struggling with too much on my plate he would always try to help. I'm embarrassed to say I would tell him quite frequently "Would I come into your office and rearrange it?". He patiently waited for me to figure out what our roles were as a partnership. I am very grateful for his kindness in the face of my sometimes, eh hem, overbearing ways. He never once stopped putting me first.
I caused my husband great resentment. And if I'm being honest probably great confusion for my children. For a season we were not on the same page at all. We would butt heads. It was a battle of the wills. When I finally realized that I needed to let my husband be in charge of final decisions in every aspect of our lives? A miraculous thing occurred. Every decision was made from a mutually and equally loving partnership. When I began to verbally say to the girls, workmen in our home, friends "Let me consult Robin on that. As the head of our household I stand behind his decision". Whoa! All of the sudden I was a rock star to my husband! He not only felt the love and respect I had (have) for him but he saw it put into action. God was right! "Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over by watching your pure, godly behavior" (1 Peter 3). It turned the tide for our marriage. And, lets be honest, the man planned a full on marriage vow renewal in a church, with bridesmaids, and a sit down dinner reception for our 25th anniversary. I'm telling you...submission is a powerful thing!
Does that mean that I want my daughters to be meek, mild, and timid in their future marriages? Absolutely not! But my prayer is that the more they submit and commit their lives to Christ the stronger they become. In that strength they will see that they must let their husbands lead, defend, protect, and love them as Christ loves them. That they will settle for no less than righteousness in their marriages. That they will submit to Godly lives. In that submission they will find power and strength in the Holy Spirit. When trials come they will be a united partnership with their husbands.
God knew exactly what he was doing in our marriage. He knew that the trials were coming. And lots of them! Had I not grown in Christ? Realized what my husbands biblical role is in our marriage? I'm not sure we would have made it. My stepping beside my husband has allowed him to grow into the man Christ longs for him to be. Standing beside him in marriage has allowed us to work as one flesh. It's not always perfect. Some days far from it. But it works. God's way always works. I'd say almost 26 years of marriage is a rarity in our generation. I'm thankful for Him and him every single day.
A
friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity - See
more at:
http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Best-friend#sthash.cScXqEnL.dpuf
Many
a man proclaims his own loyalty, But who can find a trustworthy man? -
See more at:
http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Best-friend#sthash.cScXqEnL.dpuf
A
friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity - See
more at:
http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Best-friend#sthash.cScXqEnL.dpuf
A
friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity - See
more at:
http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Best-friend#sthash.cScXqEnL.dpuf
"Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that satan may not temp you because of your lack of self control"-1 Corinthians 7:4-5
