My kidney biopsy was so dreaded. Had to be done. Dreaded it. Like all things it was not as bad as I anticipated it to be.
Do I want to do it again anytime soon? Heck no!
My husband slept in a chair last night. He changed my bedpan all afternoon and into the wee ( see what I did there?) hours of dawn. Not a single nurse had to do it. It's official: he's man of the year..decade!
I had to be flat on my back for, at first, 18 hours. Then after my hemoglobin and blood pressure dropped I was told 24 hours. I could not get up. So for 24 hours I have slept, looked at my beautiful flowers from my friend Melanie, watched my husband sleep, visited with people who have come by, watched the news, and read.
The first passage I read when I opened my bible? "But if we look forward to something we don't yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently"-Romans 8:25. Then when I checked Facebook at 4AM I saw the same passage again. I think I get the message.
Every single circumstance that is put before us He is in control of. Yet if we loose control of our emotions or try to control our surroundings, eh hum me, we don't allow Jesus the privilege to serve us. To do His job. To show up. We unknowingly appoint ourselves God. We push Him aside. Then we ask " God, where are you? I've patiently called out to you! I'm waiting! Where are you?" We all know that never works. Most of us come to Christ because being our own God was a huge fail.
Day before yesterday I went to the pharmacy to pick up my pre-op med's. The bill was $1.86 ( narcotics are evidently inexpensive-that's another soapbox). I looked in my wallet and I had no money. I went to pay with my debit card. The man standing behind me handed me two one dollar bills. I used my debit card. As I left I walked over to him and thanked him returning the money. "Pretty lady, you ain't very good at letting people help you are you? God Bless you".
Well that was sobering. No, actually, no I am not. I don't want anyone helping me. Maybe that's why I want to be "normal" again so badly. If we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
If we want freedom in Christ we must surrender. That means letting the angel in disguise , that we meet on the street, help us. That means letting our spouse and our friends help us. I'm not good at that.
I've heard The Lord loud and clear during this hospital visit. "Wait patiently and confidently expect Me". I think I can much more easily do that in the comfort of my own home. I guess that's the point, though, isn't it? Out of our comfort zones we must cry out to Him. Not control everything around us. Rely on Him to be in charge.
"Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD."-Psalm 27:14
