Athazagoraphobia: "noun. An irrational fear of being forgotten or replaced".
Oh, Dear Lawd! I could feel it coming. My biblical tirade. I choked it down. "Wow! I'm so sorry" was all I could come up with. Their $40 co-pay went to someone who decided tacking on one more label to an already confused person was a good thing. I really wanted to call this Doctor and educate her. But my husband, in his calm demeanor, said "It doesn't matter. Nothing you say is going to make a difference. Let her work it out." And, drum roll please, he was right.
So let me tell you what Doctor of Biblical Studies Elizabeth thinks (you know that's sarcasm right?). We can not be full of the Holy Spirit until we are emptied of ourselves. Yes? If the Lord can't get us to leave a situation, relationship, lifestyle on our own accord? He causes our circumstances to change. That falling away of self causes extreme loneliness. It causes depression. It causes deep grieve for what once was. He's stripping away. He's taking away the hangups, hiccups, pride. He's undoing the chains and releasing us from bondage.
Sometimes those emotions are so frightening we seek medical help. I get that. Been there done that far more times than I care to admit. Ephesians 5:6 tells us "Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience." We fill our ears, get them tickled, with words that justify our behavior. The feelings are real. No doubt. But the Lord wants us to come to Him for the answers not the world. The Lord further tells us in Ephesians 5:7 "Don’t participate in the things these people do". "Carefully determine what pleases the Lord." (Ephesians 5:10).
God is never going to bring us into situations without giving us direction. Instructions. The bible has the answer for every single thing in life. The world will tell you "Not everything is black and white. The bible is outdated. You have to make allowances for a modern world". Well, actually no. No you don't. Genesis starts with good and evil. Black and white. There is absolutely hands down no grey. The grey is the influence of the world. The Lord clearly tells us to not be a part of the world. We have to live in it but we don't have to act like it (Romans 12:2).
When you love someone. A child, spouse, best friend, parent. What do you want to do? Get alone time with them. One on one time to share news, stories, thoughts, feelings about their life and yours. When God pulls us away from social situations we feel completely alone. Left out. Unloved. The reality? He is so in love with us He wants us all to Himself. He wants us to share our fears, sadness, loneliness, helplessness, heartache with Him. He wants that season of our lives all to Him. So that He can mend us. Heal us. Strengthen us. Love us. Build us up so that He can release us back into the world made brand new in His sight.
The process is excruciating. Sometimes paralyzing. But He has us in the palm of His hand. When we can shed our pride and our fear God is able to do amazing things in our lives. Mental illness is very real. There was a time in my life when I was so paralyzed with fear and depression that I didn't want to live. I understand it and I'm not making light of it. Psychologists couldn't help. My husband couldn't help. Someone invited me to a bible study. For five years the Lord sloughed off and made new what was once dull and broken. I remember sleeping with the bible on my face. I read that Beth Moore had done that. She had great hair and a past I could identify with. So, what the heck, I thought I would give it a whirl. I would read scripture before I went to sleep. I'd leave the open bible on my face. All the while praying for God to rearrange my brain. Change my thought process. Take away the pain of feeling left out, left behind, betrayed, not good enough, etc. etc..
There is no doubt that we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). God said it and I believe it. But we have to want the help. Not the world's help but His help.We have to trust that in that broken space and time He's at work. In the silence He is there holding us up. Retraining, regrouping, rearranging. He's closing doors to what once was. But if we can trust Him? Hang on? Cling to Him? What He has in store for us is better than anything we could have ever imagined for ourselves. And it is so very good.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"-2 Corinthians 5:17
