I woke up. Dragged myself out of our hotel room bed. Brushed my teeth. Looked in the mirror. I have dark circles under my eyes. My skin is dry, no matter how much I hydrate, due to stale hotel air, hospital air, and assisted living air. My nail polish is chipped. My clothes are a bit snug from lack of exercise and no lack of hospital food. I am exhausted, literally, to the bone. {Yet} there is no choice but to push on. I ask Robin what the date is. I'm in awe that we've been at this for over two weeks.
Sunday we disposed of 76 trash bags of my family history. You see, after almost 3 weeks in ICU, tomorrow we send my Dad home with hospice. His facility charges $24,000 a month if he goes back to his private residence. We made the decision to have him on the critical care floor of his facility with hospice. Oh, did I mention for the bargain price of $18,000 a month? We have to have him out of his independent living apartment by the 30th or we have to pay an additional $5500 in rent. It's expensive, in more ways than one, to die.
I heard such a beautiful quote by Anne Graham Lotz today "The world may seem like it's falling apart. It is actually falling into place. God's plan is at work". That quote brought this journey into total perspective for me. My world seems crazy. Temporarily living in a metropolitan city seems like chaos. It's very expensive, crowded, impersonal, and the food doesn't suit my Southern man. When we hold hands and pray before a meal people curiously try not stare. It's foreign to us.
Being in a metropolitan city makes me so appreciate that the grocery store is a stop sign and one traffic light away from my home. I'm so grateful that many of our closest friends are physicians. All we have to do is send a text and we have immediate access to doctors offices, the ER, pharmaceutical needs met. Up here we have no contacts. The nurses, our angels, have been our relationships. Our source for help. No doubt God sent.
Thirty years ago, when I left this area, I didn't make the correlation that Virginia was my foundation. It's where God began His work in me. North Carolina will be where He completes His work in me. The Alpha and The Omega.
We thought my Father was going to be gone by now. Obviously God's plan is falling into perfect place for us amidst the chaos. I've cherished the time I've been able to spend with my children, brother, sister-in-law, and nephew. We've laughed at our Dad drinking martini's and holding court in the ICU. We've wept over the horrible process of dying. We've found peace & closure in our past. Yes God's plan, for all of us, is falling into place.
"... by his wounds we are healed." -Isaiah 53:5
