In the early 1970's our whole neighborhood rode their bikes to school. I didn't have a bike so I was considered a "walker". Every morning as my friends and I approached the school I would see those beautiful Schwinn bikes lined up. Dougie Schraid had a red one. It was cool! Black banana seat with high rise handlebars. The chain guard was red and white. One of the Underhill girls had the pink My Fair Lady. I wanted one so badly that I could taste it.
My mother always had me write out my Christmas list to Santa right after Labor Day. I had to have that bike! I wanted the metallic light green. White wall tires. Silver tire guards. White banana seat with flowers. The white basket with the matching plastic flowers. I can remember it like it was yesterday. Which is odd because I can't even remember the day of the week some days.
The Schwinn My Fair Lady was expensive. I had no idea how much. I just knew it cost a lot of money. I looked it up recently. It was $75. In 1972 that was a big ticket item. Back in the day people saved and budgeted for Christmas. Now everyone just charges things regardless if they can afford them or not. My parents were definitely on a budget.
My mother explained to me that Santa had lots of beautiful bicycles. "Mama, I want the My Fair Lady!" "Lilibet, Santa will bring you a bicycle. The joy of Christmas morning is the surprise of the gift. Be blessed with what you receive". With that she was off to tend to my baby brother.
For three months I obsessed over that bicycle. "Did Santa know how much I needed that bike?!" Surely he knew! I was tired of being labeled a "walker". I wanted to be a cool girl. I wanted to coast down the hill on that banana seat. I wanted the handlebar streamers to flap in the air. I wanted to put my Partridge Family lunchbox in that beautiful flower handlebar basket. I wanted that bike! I wanted to be normal. Just like everyone else.
By December I had resorted to the fact that the Schwinn sparkly green bike probably wasn't going to happen. In my small 7 year old mind I had given up. Mother had promised Santa would bring a bike. I knew it wouldn't be what I wanted. But she did say I would have a bike. So I waited. And waited. The anticipation was more than I could bare.
Recently I had a kidney biopsy. The way it was presented to me was that I had two outcomes. Neither one sounded real promising. However I truly was at peace with whatever God had in mind. I didn't like the outcome choices at all. I was very sad. Not scared but sad. For weeks, as I remained steadfast on the outside, I had fervently been praying "Lord, please. Please, no Lord. I just want to be normal. Healthy. Whole. Just like everyone else".
Today, I had my post-op follow up appointment. My husband and I anxiously waited for the Doctor to come into the room with the biopsy results. He walked in smiling. Absolutely no signs of Lupus in my kidneys! Praise Jesus! I literally started crying! Not only was there no detection of Lupus in my kidney's there is no damage. But it get's better: my Lupus numbers , or titers as they are referred too, are the lowest they can be and still be called Lupus! We still don't know why there is protein in my urine. We don't know why my body is so full of fluid. He said it probably was just the Lupus itself. However it appears that the immunosuppressive drugs are working!
When we walked to the car I hugged my husband. Tight. There were no words. None. We thought that we were looking at a life with me, down the road, on possibly dialysis. Or even a transplant. We thought that our lives were going to be forever changed in that Doctor's office. We had prayed for the best but thought the worst.
The whole way back to Kinston I just kept saying "Jesus, you are awesome! Thank you! No other words, Lord. Just THANK YOU! I am in AWE of your majesty!"
Isn't that a perfect example of what we do in life? We pray for God to cure this. Heal that. Change this. Fix that. And we mean it. With our whole heart. We seek Him for counsel. And when we listen (keyword) to Him we find peace. No matter what the outcome may be. But the very second we loose sight of Him our minds start racing. The enemy steps in. We start to bring to mind the worst possible case scenarios. For most of us, however, we really do trust Him. Yet we fail to fully grasp the vastness of Him. The expanse of His love. What He is truly capable of doing if we will step aside and let Him do it.
I went to bed that cold Christmas Eve anxiously expecting a new bike. I knew it wouldn't be the green sparkly one. But Mama did say Santa would bring me a bike. I woke up the next Christmas morning, threw my covers back, raced into the living room. And there it was. The Schwinn My Fair Lady. Sparkly light green, flowered banana seat, high rise handlebars ,the flower basket. And the white walled tires. My toothless self was grinning from ear to ear. "Thank you! Thank You! Thank You!"
It is true. We must have the faith of a child. If we wait patiently The Lord will show up. But we have to expect that He will.
By December I had resorted to the fact that the Schwinn sparkly green bike probably wasn't going to happen. In my small 7 year old mind I had given up. Mother had promised Santa would bring a bike. I knew it wouldn't be what I wanted. But she did say I would have a bike. So I waited. And waited. The anticipation was more than I could bare.
Recently I had a kidney biopsy. The way it was presented to me was that I had two outcomes. Neither one sounded real promising. However I truly was at peace with whatever God had in mind. I didn't like the outcome choices at all. I was very sad. Not scared but sad. For weeks, as I remained steadfast on the outside, I had fervently been praying "Lord, please. Please, no Lord. I just want to be normal. Healthy. Whole. Just like everyone else".
Today, I had my post-op follow up appointment. My husband and I anxiously waited for the Doctor to come into the room with the biopsy results. He walked in smiling. Absolutely no signs of Lupus in my kidneys! Praise Jesus! I literally started crying! Not only was there no detection of Lupus in my kidney's there is no damage. But it get's better: my Lupus numbers , or titers as they are referred too, are the lowest they can be and still be called Lupus! We still don't know why there is protein in my urine. We don't know why my body is so full of fluid. He said it probably was just the Lupus itself. However it appears that the immunosuppressive drugs are working!
When we walked to the car I hugged my husband. Tight. There were no words. None. We thought that we were looking at a life with me, down the road, on possibly dialysis. Or even a transplant. We thought that our lives were going to be forever changed in that Doctor's office. We had prayed for the best but thought the worst.
The whole way back to Kinston I just kept saying "Jesus, you are awesome! Thank you! No other words, Lord. Just THANK YOU! I am in AWE of your majesty!"
Isn't that a perfect example of what we do in life? We pray for God to cure this. Heal that. Change this. Fix that. And we mean it. With our whole heart. We seek Him for counsel. And when we listen (keyword) to Him we find peace. No matter what the outcome may be. But the very second we loose sight of Him our minds start racing. The enemy steps in. We start to bring to mind the worst possible case scenarios. For most of us, however, we really do trust Him. Yet we fail to fully grasp the vastness of Him. The expanse of His love. What He is truly capable of doing if we will step aside and let Him do it.
I went to bed that cold Christmas Eve anxiously expecting a new bike. I knew it wouldn't be the green sparkly one. But Mama did say Santa would bring me a bike. I woke up the next Christmas morning, threw my covers back, raced into the living room. And there it was. The Schwinn My Fair Lady. Sparkly light green, flowered banana seat, high rise handlebars ,the flower basket. And the white walled tires. My toothless self was grinning from ear to ear. "Thank you! Thank You! Thank You!"
It is true. We must have the faith of a child. If we wait patiently The Lord will show up. But we have to expect that He will.
"But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation.
My God will hear me."-Micah 7:7
My God will hear me."-Micah 7:7
