I'd Probably Have To Punch You

I woke up on Friday with a rash on my face. It happens every year. Without fail. Lupus butterfly rash accompanied by zillions of oozing teeney tiny water blisters. Lips swollen and caddywompus. Nose so swollen I'm missing a nostrol. On cue...always right before social obligations. You know, the ones that require makeup and dressing up. Over a decade of, once a year, my face looking like undercooked bacon. Good times.

I texted a picture to my dermatologist. No response. I called her office. They could see me the end of August (she's my beautiful popular friend). Texted the picture to my general practitioner (she's my precious friend who feels medically sorry for me). She called me immediately. Benadryl every four hours coupled with vaseline. I've been refrigerating the vaseline. The room temperature vaseline literally melts off of my face. What can I say?  I'm hot. Literally. Like to the touch. But if you touched my face? I'd probably have to punch you.

Not much else can be done since I'm allergic to the meds that would stop the rash from intensifying. So I'm hanging tight until it clears. Usually 1-2 months. Hip hip hooray. 

The good news? Vaseline slathered all over this almost (operative word) 50 year old face has got to be beneficial. Like a really greasy Botox kind of beneficial! The bad news? It's quite offensive to passer-bys. Probs a bit scary to kids in the grocery store. Oh, and did I mention I can't see? I'm like Popeye. I have one good eye. The other one is swolled up (yes, I just said swolled up).

I really wanted sympathy from my husband. He wouldn't bite. No "Oh, Darlin' I'm so sorry." or "Baby, that is just awful!" And did I tell you it infuriated me? Since we are on the subject of faces. "It's not that bad" he says. I almost punched his. 

I'm standing in front of the bathroom sink looking in the mirror in horror. What did he do? "Hey, which shirt? This one or white? These shorts? Needlepoint belt with fish or flags? Bit loafers?" Are you freaking kidding me right now?! I look like a freak show and he wants me to help his cute self look cuter! Umm, no. No sir. Arms crossed swollen two year old lip sticking out. Yep, that's me. Not participating. 

As my perfectly coiffed husband and my perfectly greased up face got into his vehicle to go visit our daughter I stewed. As the corn rows whizzed by and the Atlantic Ocean got closer? I remembered  the story of the bleeding woman in Luke Chapter 8.

For twelve years the woman experienced constant bleeding. She could find no cure. She heard Jesus was coming to town. So she set out to find him. She was desperate for help. She reached through the crowds and touched his robe. He stopped. He asks who touched him. "Daughter," he said to her, "be of good comfort. Your faith has made you whole. Go in peace". (Luke 8:48)

And there it was. My husband was, kind of, right. Cute maddening husband if you are reading this? Yes, you were right. (Savor those words because I don't say them often). Jesus didn't coddle  the woman. He didn't feel sorry for her. He loved her by His actions. Right where she was. 

Jesus never promised to heal me.  But He has brought me great comfort. And by faith He has made this formerly broken woman whole.  My soul never would have been healed without Him. Would I like it if He would heal my body? Absolutely! Can he heal me? Of course! It may be here or it may be in heaven. But my eternal soul? Well, I find great thanksgiving and comfort in knowing He fixed what was really broken. 

"I have told you these things, so that in me you will find peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" -John 16:33

"You Need This"

My ancient iPhone died on Tuesday morning. Honestly, it didn't stress me in the least. Like at all. I was spending the day with my oldest daughter. My phone death was sending her over the edge. "Mama we need to go get you a new phone!". 

Actually? No, no we didn't. I'm so old school I knew what a new phone meant. It means backing up. I hadn't. It means understanding. I don't. It means re-learning. Don't care. As long as I can: (1) write (2) listen to my praise & worship music on Bluetooth (3) talk via Bluetooth in the car (4) take pictures. If I can do those things? I'm good to go! All the other bells and whistles are completely lost on me.

My daughter and I got our nails done, bought new running shoes (don't get excited I excel at a slow stroll), ran errands, ate lunch. She wore me down. "It is not safe for you to be without a phone, Mama. I'm here I can set it up for you". She had a point. Come August she won't be available anymore. I'll be in a technology free fall once she starts work.

So off to Verizon we went. After a few minutes my name was called. I was greeted by Tomeka. Amongst the loud music, ringing phones, lines of people she was a delightful breath of fresh air. She confirmed the old phone was dead. As a door nail. Tomeka and my daughter quickly whisked me to the iPhone display. 

Oldest picked up a calculator and said "you need this". Um, no, no I don't. That thing was huge! Then my oldest proceeds to tell Tomeka my middle aged dark secret. "She has reading glasses in every room of her house. Her purse. She has them in her car. She even keeps a pair in my dad's car". Hello? Cute daughter and lovely salesperson? I'm right here. I may be blind but I'm not deaf yet. "Mama, get this one. You can see the screen when you are writing". The next thing I know my oldest and Tomeka have picked out a case "You have to get this one. It looks just like you" they both declared.

"I don't know Olivia this is huge and expensive." Tomeka asks me "what do you do?" And just like that it popped out. "I write". Tomeka said "Write about what?" "I write a published blog about Jesus". The next hour we talked about Charleston, scripture, the Rapture of the church. Tomeka made my day! 

"Oh, yes ma'am, if you are writing about the Lord you need the best. Um hmm. You need this phone". She showed me all of the features. I stopped her dead in her tracks at the fingerprint log in. "No way. Mark of the beast. I'm not helping usher that in". Salesperson looks at me and rolls with laughter. Oldest daughter rolls eyes. I was and am serious. Technology is dumbing and numbing an entire generation to the schemes of the enemy.

By the time I had signed the paperwork Tomeka had three other employees reading elizabethcondrey.blogsot.com on their phones. We talked about taking a stance for Jesus. We talked about no longer being able to be luke warm in our faith. Being ready to meet our Savior face to face at any moment. We talked about the victims of Charleston. Our certainty that they were without pain. Our belief that Jesus met them immediately.

We hugged goodbye and I drove off with a phone larger than a calculator. And I might add...without thumb print recognition. Amen.

God is pretty spectacular. I got the message loud and clear. Sometimes the things we least want to do? Well, they reap the biggest blessings. I couldn't help but smile the rest of the day. Tomeka blessed me beyond measure. Who would've thunked it? God had schooled me. And it was good.

"Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening"-

1 Samuel 3:9

Tossing & Turning Through Life

I've got a confession. I have slept until almost 8:30 every day this week. I'm still trying to catch up on my sleep.  I didn't sleep well last week at all. My handsome husband, who snores profusely, was tournament fishing for much of the week. 

You would think I'd have slept like a log. Quiet room. Cool air conditioning. Drum roll please: no earplugs. Bliss right? Nope. I tossed and turned all night every night that he was gone.

I guess after 26 years of ending my night and starting my day with this man next to me my subconscious knew something was not quite right. My husband makes me feel safe. Protected. I know with him laying beside me I can rest peacefully (albeit with earplugs).

Likewise when I'm in step with Jesus? When I wake up and go to sleep having spent time with the Lord I feel protected. I feel taken care of.  I literally can feel Jesus right there with me. He's listening to my thanksgivings, my requests, my inquiries. 

If I'm being really honest? Well, when I'm not walking with God I usually have a cruddy day. If I forget my quiet time in the morning? Or when I'm too tired or busy to read my bible before my husband and I go to sleep? Those are the times I toss and turn through my daily life.

Sure, I'm always chatting with Jesus (in my head) throughout the day. I always thank Him as I turn off my bedside light.  I know He's there. But when I don't spend time with Him? My days are most assuredly off. My "subconscious" knows the routine is out of whack. 

What do your days and nights look like? Are floundering through your routines? Wrestling with sleep due to the racing thoughts in your head? Do you feel anxious rather than calm? Secure? Safe? When was the last time you stopped to be still? To get on your knees and talk to Him? When was the last time you held hands with your spouse and prayed?

Every single morning His mercies are new (Lamentations 3:22). Whatever happened yesterday? Jesus tells us the next day is a do over. We start brand new. That is a great big fat "Amen" in my book! 

Rest easy tonight. Thank Him for the good. Praise Him for the mundane. Ask for forgiveness in the shortcomings.  Rest in Him.

"Even when I walk the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and staff protect and comfort me"-Psalm 23:4

Find Your Joy

I love to cook. When it's hot out, and down South it's currently sizzling,  I love cooking even more. Weird, I know. Yesterday I had planned on heading to the beach for the rest of the week. When I saw that the heat index was 115 degrees  in Atlantic Beach and only 108 at home? Well, home sounded good.

So I closed all the plantation shutters and relished my indoor 68 degree haven. I turned on all the recessed lights,  put some Third Day on my iPad and started to create.

I chopped fruit, lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, onions, cucumbers, pickles, celery, jalapeño peppers, and chicken. I fried some bacon. I simmered vinegar, horseradish, mustard, butter, Worcester sauce, and ketchup into a heavenly marinade.  I mixed heavy cream into a pillowy cloud. I folded fresh strawberries.  I boiled eggs and gingerly soaked them in an ice bath. I sipped sweet tea and labeled mason jars. Several hours later I was proud as a peacock. 

The greatest legacy my mother left me? Her recipe box. 100 years of Southern recipes from Jane Condrey,  my Nana, and my Aunt Mary Pugh ( yes, my brother and I would roll with laughter as kids when we said her name).  It was as if God himself knew I was going to need them. And I did. My husband and his sweet southern self ? Well, gourmet food is lost on him. 

There are many things that make my husband happy. But there are a few that make his smile light up a room. His family, being outdoors, saltwater, southern food, and well you can figure out the last one ( grown daughters groan out loud "Oh, Dear Gawd, Mama").

Back to my creative process. After putting all of these ingredients together? Wallah, Eastern NC marinated barbecue grilled chicken, mixed vegetable BLT salad, jalapeño pimento cheese, chicken salad, and strawberry ice cream. I had to take a picture of it. So pretty.

It got me thinking. This is just food. But I know how much my husband appreciates it. Loves it. It thrills  me  to see him so happy.  I know what he likes without him having to tell me. 

Don't you think it brought God great joy in creating us? He knew us before we were born. He knew what would bring us pleasure. Bring us sorrow. He took the time to create us. To create the beautiful things around us that make us grin from ear to ear. Isn't that awesome?! Doesn't that make you want to stand up and say "Amen!"? 

Find your joy. Then give it away. That is what God did for us. He sent His most beloved son Jesus Christ to die to give us life. Can you even wrap your brain around that? Amazing.

"God knows the things you need before you know you need them"-Matthew 6:8

She Just Gets Me

The daughter of my oldest and dearest friend graduated from high school on Saturday. We had the privilege of attending the morning graduation, brunch afterward, and dinner that evening. 

My friend and her husband are our daughters God parents. We are their oldest daughters surrogate God parents (evidentally Baptists don't have God parents so we just appointed ourselves).

We met in college. We were neighbors. Each living in cinder block married student housing. Her husband had just started working at the university. My husband was getting his MBA. We clicked immediately. We shared a love of our sibling golden retriever puppies Charlie and Zack. Mexican food. The Connells, REM, and Lone Justice. And, most importantly, the birth of our oldest daughter. Those days in our early 20's were magical. My husband graduated and we moved back to his home town two hours away. They stayed in the university town teaching and raising children. Our lives were so very different but so connected. We were so very different and yet so much alike.

They were the first people I knew,way back in the day, to recycle and eat organic. Her husband is the sports information director for the university. My husbands idea of a sporting event is a duck blind or a marlin tournament. They are academics. I guess you could call us capitalists. 

My friend and her daughter wear Birkenstocks. My daughters and I wear Tory Burch. Their kids want to save the environment while in college. Our kids wanted to attend attend every Greek mixer on campus. They take their kids to concerts to see 1980's bands. We take our kids to five star resorts.

We couldn't be any more different. And yet we are so much alike. We all put God, family, and honor first. We both raised our kids to be humble and to have servant's hearts. We both raised our kids to know right from wrong. To respect their elders. To love their country. To appreciate beautiful topography. Love the land & sea. A love of history. To revere marriage. To love the Lord. To use their Godly given time and talents to best serve others.

Claudia? Well, she just gets me. And I get her. We can go months without talking and pick right up where we left off.  I hope you have a friend like that. Her friendship has been one of the greatest joys of my life.

Our kids, also couldn't be any more different. Yet they adore each other. Watching them interact this weekend was priceless. And then it dawned on me our kids are the age we were when we first met. 

I know this isn't a post of any huge biblical revelation. And yet it is. The world right now is in utter chaos. More so than any other time in world history. The enemy is doing his best to divide and conquer us politically, economically, religiously, socially, and educationally.  We are being fed lies hourly. Good has become evil and evil is now good. For now the Lord is allowing satan to win. But we know satan's demise based on scripture.

"And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever." ( Revelation 10:20)

Don't believe the lies. Don't be sucked in. Healthy diversity? Godly diversity? Well it works. It's based on being able to love  another, with different interests, as your own. There is no controversy. There's no judging. There's no hatred. There's Godly love to have the vision to see a coat of many colors. There's deep respect and connect to just "Get" each other. But none of this is possible without biblical love or a common moral ground. God unites us in understanding, love, and appreciation. The enemy divides us in fear, hate, and chaos. 

"Don't befriend angry people or associate with hot tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul"-Proverbs 22:24-25

Who Are Your People

When I was a newly engaged 22 year old we went to an engagement party in my husbands home town. Said town has now been my home for almost three decades. One of my mother in laws neighbors excitedly introduced herself. After interviewing me about the wedding plans, and mutual acquaintances from our college alma mater, she tilted her head "Well you are just lovely. Now tell me, darling, who are your people?" 

After shielding my eyes from a blinding gaze of sparkling diamonds I explained I grew up in Virginia. She quickly frowned and said "Ohhh". I anxiously said "My Mother is from Eastern North Carolina. All of my family is in Halifax County. I spent my summers in Enfield". The smile returned . "Wonderful! What is your Mothers maiden name?" It seemed that my Mothers geographical  lineage made up for my lack of pedigree. Thank you, God, for Jane Condrey and Halifax County.

If you grew up in Eastern North Carolina, or probably any rural Southern area, you know that family names are important. It doesn't matter if your family was flat broke or full of undesirables. If your name was associated with the wealth of cotton, tobacco, or textiles prior to the Great Depression and proceeding the Civil War? You were golden. 

There was no one of importance in my family except my Mothers father. I'm not a descendant of the first Governor of NC or a national donut chain like my husband. My grandfather owned many sawmills and cotton gins. As legend has it my grandfather was the first  family, in their tiny town, to have electricity. 

My grandfather died unexpectedly when my Mother was 2 years old.  The Great Depression left my Grandmother penniless with two children under the age of 5.  With no skills and no money Nana took in boarders in her big house. She never had a checking account. 10% of her earnings went to the Baptist Church every single week.  

Despite her monetary loss Nana made sure that her children had the best education possible. My uncle graduated from Chapel Hill Magna Cum Laude. My mother followed suit 4 years later graduating Sum Cum Laude from Meredith College. They both spent a semester studying in Europe.   They both earned graduate degrees from George Washington University. To this day my Nana is one of my biggest heroes. She truly believed that God would provide. And He did.

I remember the first assembly meeting in August of my sophomore year of college. I attended the same all girls school that my aunt, great aunt , and several cousins had. This was much to the chagrin of my Mother. She wanted me to attend her alma mater. The other all girls college in the same city. During that assembly our Dean of Students asked all of the debutantes to stand in recognition. I was one of the few who remained seated. You see my Mother had been asked to deb. She had declined because my Nana was unable to afford it.  Therefore I was not a legacy. 

In that moment, during  that hot August morning, I felt less than. Not good enough. And quite frankly a little upset with my "people".  I was simply a normal girl from, what used to be, rural Virginia who happened to be madly in love with a sweet,soft-spoken Southern boy. We were getting married. That was my bloodline.

Now if you asked me today, 28 years later, "Who are your people?" I would likely respond "I am the daughter of the King. The important One. The One of  the Most High. He currently resides at the right hand of his Father On the Throne". 

You see what I've learned is that family does matter. But there is only one bloodline of importance. One legacy. If Jesus is your Lord and Savior you are part of a Royal Bloodline. So I will boldly ask you "Who are your people?"

"For you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God's very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into His wonderful light"-1 Peter 2:9

A Leg Up

I saw at least three posts on Facebook over the weekend about the difficulty of parenting. All by Mamas at different stages of motherhood. Dr. James Dobson wasn't kidding when he coined the phrase "Parenting isn't for cowards". I'd challenge any head of state or CEO that parenting is the hardest job one can ever have. 

I do think, however, that Christian parents may have a bit of a leg up. Before you moan out loud "Oh dear, Gawd, here goes another lecture from a pompous born again" let me explain. 

If we have laid biblical foundations and principles for our kids there is always a reference point for our family. When our children are little it is our job to teach them about Jesus. Not just some figure flying in the sky that we worship on Sunday mornings. Jesus. Our Savior, our comforter, our protector. Jesus the center of our home. Our compass for our family. 

Thru conversation and example a moral standard is established and understood. Through discussion we can say to our kids "can you tell me why you did that? Can you tell me what a better behavior would be? Do you remember the story of Jonah? He felt exactly like you do. How did God teach him? What is God trying to teach you?" 

Scripture is our road map. Parenting doesn't come with an actual instruction guide. Or does it? God has provided us with a beautiful love story written for us, to us, about us by the One who adores us. The bible not only provides a moral standard to reference but it gives our children a foundation. It helps them to see how beautiful life is meant to be. Not easy but with a purpose.

Laying the foundation is monumental and hard work. And guess what? It may not always work. Those little people we raise? Well, they eventually develop their own personalities. They don't do it to spite us. They do it because God gave us the choice of free will. 

During adolescence we can continually reinforce Godly expectations. Teaching and guiding our kids based on who Jesus says we are in Him. More than anything we pray. We pray that our core beliefs as adults, parents, and as a family are enough. And then we release our children into the world. 

God has really opened our eyes as it pertains to our daughters. Admittedly we, on occasion, were finger pointers.  "Why did you do this and not that? We did not raise either of y'all to do that". This led to blow ups. Our kids felt judged. Then one day it dawned on us. "We've laid the foundation that's all we can do." Just keep pointing them towards the cross.

Here's the beauty of Gods written word:  His rules reign. He doesn't make mistakes. He doesn't criticize. However His directions for following Him are quite clear. 

We are now able to say to our college aged kids "Here's what God has to say. Not Mom & Dad but God of the universe. We are not crazy about your plans. We don't agree with it. But we love you. As long as you are fully aware of the consequences to your decisions based on God's written word? Well, that's your choice. If you need help or change your mind you know our door is always open". 

We raise them to release them. The letting go is hard. It can be scary. "Did I teach them everything they need to know?" The beauty about the bible is that you can rest on it. Everything they need as young adults can be found in a roadmap of 66 chapters. 

"Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish."-Proverbs 18:13