Migraines are funny things. They creep in. Just when you have gone a few weeks without one. Just when you start to feel normal. Just when you actually forget that you have migraines. That is when they creep back into your life. Most migrainers are on a first name basis with their migraines. I have several different migraines. I can relate different symptoms to each migraine. I can also tell you how bad they are going to be based on the aura. If my arms and legs are very stiff, if my vision has fireworks or my face starts to feel numb I know I will loose speech. It's just a matter of time. Nothing will stop it but IV drugs. If it starts at the base of my neck I can take fiorecet, a coca cola, an icepack and go to bed and sleep it off. If I have nausea, dizziness, and the ice pick stabbing I know I will have to get a marcaine nerve block to stop it.
Yesterday as I was sitting in the neurologist office I had an epiphany of sorts. Migraines are a lot like sin. There is probably one major sin you have battled your whole life. Every single time you think you have a handle on it guess what? It creeps back into your life. You can treat the symptoms but the behavior will always come back.
Like migraines sin is debilitating. It slowly creeps in and takes over your whole being. It controls your life. It can cause you to be frozen with fear. Your life can be in a state of paralysis due to the guilt associated with the sin. You become in total bondage to that one sin. Held hostage in your own body.
The only thing that can change your circumstances is to do something about it. After two years we still do not know the root of my problem. It is definitely hereditary, as both my daughters suffer, but most likely attributable to the Lupus. Therefore I can not get rid of it. But we have figured out what injections, nerve blocks and medicines work for me. I know I can no longer eat solid chocolate. Or drink beer or wine. I know I must wear an ID bracelet at all times in case I loose speech and I'm alone.
If we know we have a propensity to a certain sin? Well, you take the measure to avoid it. When we acknowledge our sin, confess it, and hand it over to the Lord we are able to live a life free of bondage. The sin nature will always be there. However if we walk in the Spirit we are less likely to have that desire for that particular sin.
As each needle was placed in various parts of my skull yesterday it felt like a pressure cooker being released. My husband always watches in amazement "How can you stand it?!" It literally feels as if my head is being decompressed with each injection. The pain subsides, my vision comes back, the nausea lessons, the spinning stops. I'm on solid ground again.
The goal as Christians is to live a life pleasing to Him. In order to do this we must break free from the bondage in our life that distances us from Him. Confess our sins. Ask Him to heal us, walk with us, guide us. In the flesh we must do whatever it takes to avoid the physicality of whatever sin we are prone to. If that means new friends? Make them. If that means avoiding certain places? Don't go there. We can not experience total freedom in Him until we break free from the chains that are holding us.
What things in your life are holding you hostage? Gluttony? Arrogance? Substance Addiction? Pornography? Gossip? Greed? Envy? Ask Him to break you free today!
"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh"-Galatians 5:16
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