My whole life I've thought funerals were tragic. Sad. Depressing. In fact, during my mother's funeral I was so wrecked with grief I don't remember half of it.
New Years day we packed up and traveled to Virginia to bury my father. As I sat in the church that my brother and I were raised, married in, my nephew baptized, my mother buried, and now my father I felt completely at peace.
My brother and I had a lot to work through. A childhood that was often filled with confusion. Gods timing was, as always, perfect.
The last weeks we had with our Dad were precious. Resolution. Much love. And much sadness too. But it was perfectly orchestrated by God. The joy was recognizing I didn't have to do anything. I didn't have to mend fences or mince words. I was just still. I obeyed the Lord. I loved my dad unconditionally without reserve. Amazingly it was easy.
My dad had picked out the scriptures and music for his service. He had also given us strict instructions on where he wanted us to spend the day before the funeral. And where he wanted us to eat dinner. He wanted us to gather our spouses, children, and in laws to celebrate. Drink a martini in his honor. Enjoy being together. And so we did. And he would have loved it.
After the service my brother's lovely mother in law had us all for brunch. I glanced over at my brother. Sitting by himself in the corner of the dining room. He was so solemn. So sad. He shared with me that, due to our 7 years difference in age, I had left. Gone to college. Never came back. He had a relationship with our father. One that I would never understand. He was grieving.
Funerals are a funny thing. They bring forth so many emotions. Sadness. Regret. Grief. Closure. But shouldn't they bring joy? Joy that God gave you that person for that chapter in your story. Joy knowing that good or bad God chose that person to teach you, touch you, write your life. Joy knowing that person was appointed by God himself to help you become who you are. And, hopefully, joy knowing the deceased is in heaven.
My dads funeral weekend brought me great joy. Cousins laughing. In laws toasting. Bread broken. Spouses laughing. Siblings sharing a chapter that has finally been written. God showing us what He looks like when we forgive. When we love despite it all.
God speed dad. I hope we made you proud. I look forward to the day I see you again. Please give mom my love.
"Because Your loving kindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You"-Psalm 63:3
