Think about how many things in your life you try to control throughout the day. I bet there are a ton. We control the scheduling of our calendars. We control our children's social activities. We control carpool. We control who we spend our time with. We control where we invest our money. We control what decisions we make in life. We control what we eat. We control when and if we exercise our body. Some of us even try to control people.
The antithesis of control is, I believe, faith. Or trust if you will. When we say "Yes, Lord" we need to be keenly aware of the fact we are saying "You are now in control, Lord. Not me". And that's where life gets hard.
I had a beautiful friend point something out to me this past weekend. "Sometimes God just wants us out of the way. Sometimes he's protecting us from someone else's crash and burn. Ultimately crashing isn't a bad thing. It's how we rebuild a life in Him". This friend has walked the walk. Talked the talk. And is a living miracle. Her advice hit home. Hard.
I have been trying to control every single aspect of my families life. Probably because I have no control over what is happening to my physical body. If I control my family I can protect them. I can stand in the gap before the bottom drops out. Guess what? I am dead wrong. I can't control a dag gum thing. In fact, when I try to do so I'm literally sending the message "Jesus, I've got this. I know how to organize my life better than you".
It's funny I've given control of the uncontrollable (Lupus) to Him. I can't tell you how many people have said to me "You are so calm". And it's true. But the glory goes to God because it's all Him. I've relinquished the fear and doubts of the disease to Him. But my family? For some reason I seem to think if I can put out the flame before it starts the world will be at peace. That's hilarious, right?
A friend reminded me at breakfast yesterday about Peter. The disciples were fishing overnight in the Sea of Galilee. A horrific storm arose. It had to have been horrible as these men were seasoned professionals. The waves were crashing and tossing the boat. Peter looked up and saw Jesus walking on the water towards them. "Is that you, Jesus?" The Lord beckons Peter out of the water. As long as Peter was keeping his eyes focused directly on Jesus he too was walking on water. Peter became frightened. He looked down, taking his eyes off of Jesus, and he began to fall. He was scared to death that he may drown. Jesus reached out his arm and pulled him out of the water.
When we feel like we are drowning in our everyday lives it is most probable that we have taken our focus off of Jesus. We aren't looking straight ahead towards Him. The beautiful thing about Christ is that He will catch us. He will save us. But imagine how fulfilling every single aspect of our lives would be if we were fixated on Him. If we chose to focus upward rather than inward. If we chose to focus on Him and not on ourselves. There would be no need to control. We would know He was right in front of us. Eyes locked in. Every decision and every step looking up.
"Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet"- James 4:10
